What Children learn when we make time for our spouse

When I was first married I couldn’t wait until the end of our work day so I could spend time with my husband. After quitting my job when I was seven months pregnant with our first child I was very eager for him to come home each day and looked forward to his days off. Fast forward a few years and add five kids, homeschooling, sports, church, home based business, volunteering, and his on call schedule to our marriage and I found myself being irritated because I wasn’t ready for him to come home yet. We weren’t finished with school, the phone was ringing, the laundry needed to be rotated, I hadn’t even thought of dinner yet! That list could go on and on.

Then one day I realized making time for my husband should be a priority and could teach our kids a lesson in life that would benefit them far more than finishing all the math problems right then. Plus it would put my husband in a better mood, therefore we were all in a better mood.

By making time for my spouse each day our kids learn that marriages aren’t just about the first exciting love, and they realize any relationship takes work and commitment. Even if we are only spending a few minutes at a time together the kids learn how to communicate with others and that a relationship can be enjoyable even though there are conflicts and disagreements.

We are born selfish. A baby cries when they need something, a toddler throws a fit when they are misunderstood or needs attention, a child whines when they don’t get their way. Becoming selfless is a form of maturity. Our kids can learn to be more mature when they see their parents putting aside their wants to spend time with each other on a regular basis.

In our fast food disposable society where people are continually buying new phones & cars, ordering or microwaving food and eating it hot within a few minutes, and using paper plates we can have everything we need without much work. People aren’t committed to their purchases because they can easily return it or replace it. Why use real dishes when you will have to wash them when you are finished. Making time each day for our spouse for many years can teach our kids that people and their feelings are not disposable and this lifetime commitment takes work.

I always look forward to date night with my husband, but I’m thinking more about making time for each other every day. We didn’t leave our kids with a babysitter when they were young and we don’t live near our extended families, so one thing we started doing years ago is to read the paper together. I like to read the paper in the morning, but my husband doesn’t have a regular schedule, he is always on call. On those mornings when he is already gone or sleeping in because he was up all night I save the paper for later in the day when he is awake. There are days when I get up early and would really love to read the paper right away, but I always wait to spend that time with my husband.

If we can make time each day just for our spouse even when we are busy it will not only teach our kids to make time for their physical relationships it will also show them they can make time for their relationship with Jesus Christ. If they see us ask for forgiveness from our spouse or praising them they will be more comfortable asking for forgiveness and praising others and God.


Thank you to Lisa @ The McClanahan 7 for this article.

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